Frog Hat Club

The ongoing adventures of a group of new D&D players in their first game

The First Acolyte's Epistle to the Weak

An excerpt from The Book of the Hidden Word: Epistles, 1:1-7, styled 'The Revelations,' here illuminated with the commentary of the High Priestess of Shadows
  1. What use the neighbour who does not tend his own garden? Who then shall do it? You, whose back aches with work before the dawn and whose sweat chills upon your skin in the night?
  2. And should you embrace your neighbour and take on his work as your own, what then is the lesson? Is your neighbour visited by epiphany? Does he suddenly embrace hard work and self-sufficiency? NO.
  3. Your neighbour is a leach, puckered on your leg and gorging on the blood of your good will until you are as weak as he; and lo, your garden too shall be overgrown.
  4. But to whom does the Weak then turn? The gods? Should mighty Bahamut, resplendent in shining platinum, whose will is the glory of all creation, descend from the summit of Mt. Celestia to thresh our wheat, clean the filth from our stables, and lick clean our dishes?
  5. There is no virtue in weakness, and the Weak hold no value; not to ourselves, and not to the gods. The gods do not need us. But neither do we need them: this is the First Revelation of the HIDDEN GOD.
  6. The gods do not rejoice in the constant, nattering pleas of the Weak: this is why they are silent. Only the HIDDEN GOD answers prayers with RIGHTEOUS DISDAIN, to reveal to us His truth: no help is coming, and no salvation awaits the Weak but our own power.
  7. Anyone who has not the power to stand on their own two feet should be trampled under the boot of those who can. This is the Second Revelation of the HIDDEN GOD.

I think often upon the Revelations. The Five have done naught for us, but then, why should they? Indeed, why should any god, resplendent and perfect, give two farts for the plight of grovelling, helpless worms such as those who flock to their temple bemoaning ill fortune and crying out for succor? Not even the pleas of the First Acolyte herself, no more than an innocent child, reached the ear of the Platinum Queen.

No, it was the Hidden God who answered that child, not Bahamut or her children. But consider: by what means was answer given? When the Hidden God lent to the First Acolyte a mote of His power that she might heal her sick mother, was this benevolence? No. For that very act of healing brought ruin to their house at the hands of the wicked and powerful, who feared the child a demon. But the First Acolyte did not despair, for she in her wisdom had heard the Hidden Word and received the Revelations: she embraced her own power and she did visit righteous death upon the wicked.

I wonder, if a small girl whose mother’s body yet lay in pieces upon the ground could seek out those evil men, take their power, and destroy them, tell me: what excuse have you for your weakness? Will you scrape your knees on the stones of an empty building consecrated to an indifferent god, begging to be saved? Or will you at last hear the Revelations of the Hidden God and SAVE YOURSELF?